In Luke 14:26, Jesus makes a statement that has troubled many readers:
“If any man come to me, and hate not his father, and mother, and wife, and children, and brethren, and sisters, yea, and his own life also, he cannot be my disciple.”
At first glance, these words seem harsh, especially when viewed through our modern understanding of the word hate. But when we allow Scripture to interpret Scripture, the meaning becomes much clearer.
In Matthew 10:37, Jesus explains the principle more plainly:
“He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me: and he that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me.”
Notice carefully: the issue is not merely loving father and mother or children, but loving them more than we love Christ. It is this imbalance that makes an individual “not worthy” of Him—meaning, they cannot be His disciple.
We see similar language in Genesis 29:30–31,
“And he went in also unto Rachel, and he loved also Rachel more than Leah, and served with him yet seven other years. And when the Lord saw that Leah was hated, he opened her womb: but Rachel was barren.”
Obviously, Jacob did not despise or loathe Leah in the way we commonly define hatred. Rather, in comparison to Rachel, Leah was loved less. In other words, because Jacob loved Rachel more than Leah, Leah was “hated.”
From this, we can conclude:
- To “hate” father and mother is to love them less than we love God.
- To “hate” wife and children is to love them less than we love God.
- To “hate” brethren and sisters is to love them less than we love God.
So the question becomes deeply personal for every Christian:
- Do you love your father and mother, your wife and children, your brethren and sisters more than you love God?
- Do you love your own life more than you love Jesus Christ?
If the honest answer is yes, then according to Jesus’s own words, you cannot be His disciple. Again, Christ does not call us to despise, neglect, or mistreat our families. He calls us to love Him first and above all. You’ll find that when He is first in our hearts and minds, our love for others is deepened and perfected, far beyond what it could be if He were not.